I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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