Rock
Scissors
Fuck
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
