what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
