dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This toilet bowl is my home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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