I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
4 words: hood of his car
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
