There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
