don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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