I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
