have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize