Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
