End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
