you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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