So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
