ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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