he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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