dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
