i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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