My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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