You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
