Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
