Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
