Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
