is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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