They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
