I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
