Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
