I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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