Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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