i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
