Buhtt sex?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
