Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize