Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
