i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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