i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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