i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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