i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
