remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think my moral compass just broke
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
