i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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