You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
