Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize