Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
