I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
