did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
