I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
