So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
