Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
