We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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