someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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