it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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