the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
