I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize