I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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