if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
