I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Let's get the cat blown out
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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