first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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