This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
