That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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