so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
